Should I Buy a Wheelchair?

My health goes up and down every year, and this year (late 2014) I have been silently debating as to whether I should purchase a wheelchair so I can enjoy the countryside more often, as I have been feeling slightly isolated recently.

I feel like a failure thinking about this. I hate the way people talk to me, and look at me when I use a wheelchair, so I always find a way to put myself off of using one, by finding things to at home instead. But that's not the point. Fresh air is healthy, and I'm not getting as much as I probably need.
I know I would benefit from using a wheelchair to go out on bad days, so why am I still so against using one?

probably because of events similar to this... We will call the Random person X

A conversation..The forever questions and statements I get confronted with every time the wheelchair subject arises...

X: "You can walk though, so why do you need one?"

Me: "So I can go out on days when I don't feel so good instead of being stuck in doors all day"

(Sighs with frustration)

X: "But one minute you're talking about walking, then the next a wheelchair - It's confusing."

Me: "I'm not bound to a wheelchair. Just because I talk about using one doesn't mean I'm going to live in it!"

X: "So why do you need one then?!"

Me: "Because it can be used as a good pacing tool!"

X: "But if you're using a wheelchair how is that pacing??"

Me: Because it means I can go out to different destinations so I don't have such a mind numbing life!"

X: "But I do the same thing everyday, so why can't you walk up and down the same bit of road each day and pace like that?"

Me: "Okay so now I'm not allowed to go out anywhere remotely different every other week? You go out every weekend so why aren't I allowed to do something different or special just because I'm ill?!"

X: "Ooh I didn't know you were only going to use it for special outings...

(the cherry on top if I stupidly talk to a stranger...) Is your illness contagious or something then?...

CAN I FUCKING SCREAM NOW?! 

Conversations like this crop up every single time.
Why can't healthy people and doctors get their heads around the fact that just because I'm thinking about using a wheelchair it doesn't mean to say I'm intending to use it daily, or live in it!

This is just another topic that we have to deal with, It makes my blood boil with rage and frustration. Not to mention sadness. It makes me feel so misunderstood.

That's what M.E and other chronic illnesses are. And because they are misunderstood, we are patronised, humiliated, and insulted in so many ways.
Because if you didn't realise already, people often either bully, or take the mick out of what they don't understand.

We really appreciate the few people who take the time to listen and learn about M.E and the other conditions that affect daily living - and then support us with the things we need to us cope with these chronic conditions. (helping doesn't mean lecturing!)



What have your experiences been about using a wheelchair as a pacing tool? Have you had similar conversations and confrontations? Have your experiences been positive rather than negative like mine?

Please leave a comment below when you can :-)

Thanks for reading, if you're having a tough time, I'm sending you lots of healing hugs xxx

A random picture....
Feel free to comment about the random birds' nest...